Last Monday I was sitting in my Taxi on the rank having my lunch during some quiet time. It was about 1 o’clock so about right for some nosebag. The Mrs had made me two absolutely lovely rolls filled with some roast lamb that was left over from Sunday lunch at mother in laws the day before. To my absolute delight she had covered (literally COVERED) the meat in Piccalilli. If you have never tried Piccalilli you are missing out and must have had a sheltered childhood. It is a relish of chopped pickled vegetables (mainly Cauliflower) and spices (mainly Mustard and Turmeric).
It is the absolute KING of pickles and improves the taste of any cold meat 10 fold. The Turmeric gives it a very bright yellow colour. Turmeric is used in curry a lot, in particular, Chicken Korma, mainly to provide the colour.
There was so much Piccalilli on the rolls that I got myself in a bit of a mess. It was all over my hands and more particularly all over my face. Just as that happened my step daughter and her friend pulled up alongside me in a car. I was quite embarrassed (which is unusual for me) for them to see me wearing Piccalilli as clowns make up! It was on my lips, chin, both cheeks and my nose. I dabbed a bit on my forehead for good measure.
Anyway, at about three thirty I needed a wee so I went down to the public toilets by the Scillonian quay. I started to wee into the trough and nonchalantly looked down into the trough and saw the most yellow wee that I had ever seen, and it was coming out of ME! It was as yellow as a waxed lemon (I don’t really know what a waxed lemon is but it sounded somehow more yellow than an ‘ordinary’ lemon). I was immediately worried. Discoloured wee, particularly yellow wee, is a sign that something is medically wrong. Dehydration is a strong possibility as is a bacterial infection. All sorts of disastrous consequences were going through my mind. Strangely though I felt completely fine and hadn’t had any other symptoms.
I went back and sat in the taxi and contemplated calling the doctor for an appointment. I got busy after that so I never got around to making the call and went home at six. When I arrived home I went to the toilet again. Unbelievably and scarily my wee was STILL yellow. I called the mrs in for her to inspect it. She agreed it was MIGHTY yellow. Definitely got to call the doctor now. But wait . . . . . .it came to me all of a sudden, could it be that the Piccalilli that I ate for my lunch had somehow stained my wee? It was the only explanation, I felt fine and everything else was normal. Naturally, given the amount of cups of tea that I drink, I needed another wee later in the evening. I paid very close attention to my urinary discharge but all was fine, it was back to normal. Phew!
I think the manufacturers of Piccalilli should be forced to put labels on their product warning consumers about this potential problem. Something along the lines of………..
“This product is absolutely delicious and will enhance the flavour of any cold meat but please be aware that it will temporarily MAKE YOUR PISS YELLOW, please do not panic if this happens!”.
Still not smoking by the way, 3 weeks today! Nice.