sprechen Deutsch?

I haven’t written anything on this site for ages and I used to really enjoy it so I have decided to restart my musings.  I am still driving a taxi for A Cars but its a quiet time of year what with Christmas coming so I haven’t been massively busy but I do have a couple of stories I wanted to write down before I forget them (my memory is getting worse with age!).

The first ‘incident’ happened on a Saturday night.  I went to a local pub to collect a regular customer and his wheelchair using mother.  I have picked them up plenty of times.  It was a short journey which would last about two minutes up to a care home where mother lived.

In my vehicle the front passenger seat is a ‘flip up’ seat like you get in a cinema. Its default position is flipped up. Anyway I pulled up, got my wheelchair ramp out and went into the pub to collect my customers.  I wheeled mother up the ramp with the help of her son and secured the wheelchair ready to set off.  When I pick these customers up they are usually both quite drunk but this particular day I noticed that the son was more pissed than usual.

flip ip seat


I went around the front of the vehicle and got in the drivers seat.  The front passenger seat was up (as usual) and my bag containing my flask and sandwiches was on the floor under where the seat would be when folded down.


The son then got in the passenger door but unfortunately he had forgotten and somehow didn’t notice that it was indeed a flip up seat! He got straight in and sat on my bag.  Ooops!  He was so drunk he hadn’t noticed that he was sitting not on a chair but instead on a bag.  I decided not to say anything and managed to stifle my laughter with a sneaky fake cough.  The journey was only a couple of minutes and after about a minute the son turned to me and said “this seats a bit low isn’t it?”. HaHaHa.  I said to him “your on my bag you twit, its a fold down seat”  I think he expected me to stop at that point so he could sort himself out.  Of course, I didn’t!  When we arrived at the destination I think he was a bit embarrassed and gave me a £5 tip, probably in the hope that I wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened.  Obviously that didn’t work!







The other ‘incident’ I wanted to mention concerned an old lady I picked up from a pub in the afternoon.  I didn’t know this but apparently help-the-aged run education classes from a function room at the back of the pub.  The lady came out with a walker (zimmer frame) but didn’t need any help getting in (or negotiating the flip-up seat!).  She could walk fine she just used the frame for confidence and to keep the nagging family happy.

In the course of the journey it turns out she was 95 but she was as bright as a button.



During the journey I asked her what she was doing in a pub at lunchtime.  Her reply was that she was learning German!  I said to her in astonishment “why are you learning German?”. I thought maybe she was thinking of travelling there.  Her reply shut me up . . . . . . . . .”because I did French last year”.  That will teach me to underestimate the oldies.



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