What is is with bullshitters?  It seems that if you are a bullshitter even when everyone knows they are bullshitting and they know everyone knows they still have to carry on the charade?  Maybe because they tell so many lies they don’t know the truth anymore.  They are obviously stupid people and continually prove that fact by misguidedly thinking that everyone else is stupid. I am not stupid.

I have this week been very disappointed with someone.  A relative in fact. This relative moved down to Penzance from the god-forsaken central England town of Milton Keynes. He said he had to get out of Milton Keynes because he was scared of getting beaten-up by some drug dealers who were upset that he had refused to peddle drugs for them.  Could have been bullshit and he just wanted to get away from a crap town but it sounded plausible.  bullshit meter

When he came down to Penzance he had no money, nowhere to live and didn’t know what to do. This person was, as already mentioned, a relative of mine but I think I would have tried to help him out even if he wasn’t. I am a decent person who also happens to know a lot of people in town and I have good knowledge of housing benefit and jobseekers allowance systems.


Even though I was incredibly busy at the time with my Bar I spent the first few days driving him around getting him organised.  He had no money for a deposit and the local Council would not help him so I spoke to a friend of mine who owns a house locally and lets out rooms.  I told my friend that my relative had no deposit but i would vouch for him and he would be a good tenant. My friend agreed that he could move in without paying a deposit on the back of my good name.  I spent the next couple of days taking him between the council and the jobcentre getting all the forms filled out and handed in to the appropriate place.  My relative said he was very keen to get a job and stay down in Penzance permanently. All was well.


My relative has been in the house for six weeks now and has paid NO RENT. For the first five weeks I believed his story that the council were being very slow processing his claim.  Every time I saw him (a couple of times a week) I would ask him how his claims were going and he would say something about a delay and have some plausible reason for the delay. By week six I started to have my doubts.  I called my relative and asked him what was going on.  He said he had an appointment at the Council at 1pm that day to ‘sort it out’.  I was already in suspicious mode so I went to the council offices and waited outside to see if he would show.  He didn’t.  Later I called him and asked how he had got on at the council. He proceeded to tell me a long and complicated story about the forms they went through and blah, blah, blah. I said to him that I was at the council office and didn’t see him but he said he had got there early and was taken into a ‘back’ room.  Much later that day I went to the Council offices myself and spoke to the manager claiming to be the landlord (bit naughty I know). The manager said that my relative had NOT been there that day and they they had PAID the rent into his account at least a week previous.  To say I was not happy would be an understatement.  Anyone who knows me well would say that I don’t get angry very often but when I do I get VERY ANGRY. I also spoke to someone I know at the local Jobcentre who told me that they had issued him a large giro a couple of weeks earlier but now he had somehow managed to get his claim closed.  Probably couldn’t be arsed to sign on. Who knows.



That was it, I was MAD know.  I called my relative. His girlfriend answered. He wouldn’t come on the ‘phone.  She told me she was in Longrock (near Penzance).  I drove to Longrock, couldn’t find him.  Another friend of mine had had a text from him saying he was at his girlfriends house in Marazion (near Penzance), drove there couldn’t find him.

I have made it quite clear to him that everyone, especially me, knows he is lying but he just carries on either lying or avoiding me.  He wont feel so clever when he is evicted from the house he is staying in. He probably wont care that he has damaged my relationship with my friend who owns the house. I would still help him if he came to me and stopped the bullshit and asked for some help but because he is stupid he wont do that and will eventually have to sod off back to Milton Keynes and deal with what are probably ‘imaginary’ angry drug dealers.

bullshit sign


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